Current Events Blended Almost Smooth

As expected, the Macheads lined up like sheep yesterday, worshipping their almighty god, Steve Jobs, by paying him up to $800 in return for his latest edition piece of rubbish… wait a minute, what am I talking about? I love Apple. I would’ve been lined up there with them if I could come up with any conceivable use for the iPad that isn’t already accomplished by my phone, iPod, or laptop. . For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, Apple released the iPad yesterday, a kind-of-tablet-computer-kind-of-huge-iPod-Touch-thing. With the cheapest one

holding 16GB of memory, no camera, no 3G, and not even supporting Flash Player, I can’t think a possible use I would have for this device that isn’t accomplished better by my laptop. However, I am scratching my head as to what 300,000 people figured out that I couldn’t. The skeptic/hater-of-humanity-and-firm-believer-that-everyone-on-the-planet-is-stupid in me thinks that if Steve Jobs redesigned Windows Vista so

that this was the default desktop, and it made that pretty Mac startup sound (which is so much better than the Windows startup sound, but I digress) it would’ve been heralded as the operating system of the future, and 300,000 people would’ve stood in line to upgrade their Macs. Maybe this is because Mac users are stupid, but I think not, partly because my MacBook Pro releases a telepathic pulse that forces me to defend all members of the iCult at all costs. I think its probably because, well, Apple products are shiny and pretty, and they look like someone took a piece off of the U.S.S. Enterprise and handed it to you. They look like the next big thing, probably because they always are the next big thing, and people want to make sure they’re the first to get their hands on the next big thing.